As I get older and reflect more and more on the experiences that played an integral part in developing who I am today, I am realizing more and more that for most of my life, I have fought against a false narrative as told by "They/Them", and sometimes to myself. And like a flag-bearer during a battle, I have worked tirelessly, both in my mind and in the natural to not only display to the world my beliefs, but defend my integrity and reputation in the process. And sometimes that fight has lead me into battles that, had I been wise enough to just walk away, might have prevented some painful scares left behind in the wake.
But its been my experience that life may not be just black and white, all or nothing, my way or the highway, etc. as we can tend to believe, or have may have even been taught. As a matter of fact, some of the most beautiful moments I have experienced in life, came when I was willing to suspend my beliefs (momentarily) in order to be present in the moment and open to receiving the experience(s) being offered. And maybe its my age and life experience talking, but, when your frontal lobe is still being developed, we can tend to make decision(s) that we may regret, to say for the rest of our lives may be overly dramatic, until such a time as we have an opportunity to make a different choice.
In conclusion, maybe you have had a moment, or moments, where the decision you made shifted the trajectory of life in a direction you did not intend. My hope is that you will go back to that very moment and in your mind and heart, find a way forgive yourself, and the other parties involved if need be, truly understand the learning opportunity presented, and know the hypnotic rhythm of life has a way of restoring the life God, the Universe, or whatever Higher Power you believe in, intended.
And remember, that your life is exactly what you make it by your own mental attitude. Attitude is a Lifestyle!